The Truth about Relationships…
Since the beginning of time human beings have been taught that a woman and man should meet, fall in love and spend the rest of their lives together. Just like Adam and Eve did right?
We all desire to meet our other half. Since I was a little girl I remember the stories and movies I use to watch. There was always a princess who needed to be “saved” by a gorgeous prince and they lived happily ever after…
It has been drummed into us since a very young age that we should always be on the lookout for our prince and one day he will come and save us.It’s quite sad how society has brain washed us to believe, that in order to be happy we need to find a partner to complete us.
There is so much pressure and stress to find “ the one” before the age of 30 because otherwise ,how are you going to have babies? What are you going to do if you get too old and you become old unwanted stock?
I see relationships in a very different light. A relationship is a very powerful tool to help you grow and shift in life.
You attract the person into your life who is going to help you grow and help you learn things about yourself that you never even knew existed, someone who is going to show you the deepest, darkest parts of your shadow self.Rushing into a relationship can be detrimental to your being. Because we are so scared to be alone we often end up with people who aren’t right for us just because we want to be in a relationship.
You need to understand that a partner is your MIRROR image. What does this mean exactly? It means that your partner is there to teach you the biggest lessons about yourself. To show you the good, the bad and the ugly. To push every single one of your buttons so that you can learn about who you are because that is the reason why we are here, to learn and grow.
We all have specific soul lessons that we need to learn as human beings and your partner is the most important person in helping you achieve this.
They are there to show you everything that you love about yourself as well as the not so pretty side to yourself. Often we are so quick to judge our partners and pass the blame. ‘You did this and you did that’ and we forget that, that person has come into our lives to show us something. They are a reflection of everything we need to learn and master.
We all have pre-programmed beliefs about ourselves that are created in our minds from when we are children, things that happen to us at a young age, that run so deeply within us we have no idea that these core beliefs are running our lives and we attract the partners into our lives that will help us see these things, IF we choose to learn and see them.
I am sure you have heard the new hip word “ PROJECTION” YO dude, stop projecting. When someone says something to you that actually has nothing to do with you and they are just passing the buck. Projection is a very powerful tool if you understand it and know how to use it in order to grow.In life all liars believe that others lie, all cheaters believe that others cheat because it is a core belief of their own. So when a partner accuses the other of doing these things, what they really need to do it look at themselves.
I grew up in a home run by a single mother who did everything she could to do the best that she could for my sister and I, she is such a phenomenal, wonderful woman who I have so much gratitude for because of the things she sacrificed for us. Working incredibly hard to support us. At times she was unable to come to sports days and awards evenings because she needed to do what she needed to do in order to support her girls and I have the utmost respect for her however because she wasn’t always around as a young girl I never got recognition and support for certain things in life, well at least this is the perception I created in my mind and the story I told myself( our minds are very powerful ) .
So as I have grown up I have spent my life always needing to be “ Achieving , doing BIG things” I always needed to prove to the world that I was doing well and that I was “okay “because I needed the world to acknowledge me because at times as I child I believed that I wasn’t often acknowledged, I have spent most of my life looking for attention.Until you learn who you are and until you are willing to really look at yourself and your behaviours and what is running you, you will never truly be able to shift things in your life. And partners are your best teachers.
It wont always be as obvious as you think. You really need to look deep but your partner is there to show you. I got very frustrated once with a partner for being“needy” but what I realised is that it had NOTHING to do with him being needy, I was PROJECTING. It had come up in the relationship to show me that being needy is “ Looking for attention” and that is exactly what I have been doing for most of my life.When you are annoyed with your partner ask the question “ What quality are they possessing?” Things only annoy you if there is something you need to learn or take away from the situation and the beautiful things is once you have integrated that into your being they will no longer annoy you and that is where this powerful self mastery work comes into play and remember your partner is there to push ALL your buttons.
Ask yourself what your partner is showing you. Are you attracting abusive people into your life? What quality are they possessing? Disrespect? Where in your life could you be being disrespectful. Do you attract addicts into your life? Then where in your life could you be being an addict?
Maybe you have attracted the most beautiful, caring soul into your life that means that you too have a beautiful, caring, loving soul. Embrace one another and may your loving souls light up the world with love.
So instead of getting angry with your partner, ask yourself what it is that you need to learn? Or what it is that you need to integrate. When you shift the relationship will naturally shift.Your inner core belief on how you see the world will run your life unless you CHOOSE to change it. If you believe that all men are dogs or all woman are bitches you will continue to attract the dogs and the bitches into your life because that is YOUR reality and the universe will give you whatever it is that you believe to be true.
And yes I do believe in Soul Mates and Twin Flames.
Soul Mate: Someone who is aligned with your soul and is sent to challenge, awaken and stir different parts of you in order for your soul to transcend to a higher level of consciousness and awareness. Once the lesson has been learnt, physical separation usually occurs.
Life Partner: A companion, a friend, a stable and secure individual who you can lean on, trust and depend on to help you through life. There is a mutual feeling of love and respect and you are both in sync with each others needs and wants.
I believe that when you are meant to meet someone you will. We spend our lives going out trying to meet our next boyfriend or girlfriend however when we do that we end up being with the wrong person or relationships becoming meaningless.
I believe its destined in the stars when you are suppose to meet someone. Some of the best relationships happen in the most random places like walking down the street at 2am in the morning or randomly meeting someone on a train or in a coffee shop.
We should be spending more time on ourselves and finding out who we are. We need to understand that if we are not WHOLE we cannot expect to meet someone who is going to complete us. You need to become whole first so that you get into a relationship where you help one another grow, yet still have your own identities. So you can grow together as individuals and empower one another within the relationship instead of placing the responsibility for your happiness on your partner.
So my advice to everyone out there when it comes to relationships is.
Instead of being so eager to get into a relationship rather spend time getting to know yourself. Understand who you are and become your best friend. You will save yourself from a lot of hurtful relationships and hard lessons.
Be willing to REALLY look at yourself when things go wrong in your relationship. Remember that we are here to learn and grow. Don’t let your ego get in the way.
It is okay to let people go. Not all relationships are forever. Sometimes the lesson has been learnt. Be grateful for the experience and all the lessons that, that beautiful being has taught you. In the end we are only human and we are here to learn. Love them and let them go….
Relationships aren’t easy. We get into relationships thinking that everything is going to be wonderful and that your life is going to become perfect. That, the relationship will complete you, that you will be happy, that the sex will be great, that there will be no issues, that one day you will have a perfect home and a perfect family. This is life and it is meant to be challenging or how else would you grow? So accept the challenges and be open to learn…
Don’t just run away or back out. Look at yourself before you ‘check out’, there may be something you are not seeing and until you have shifted or integrated what it is that you need to learn you will continue to attract the same type of person in a different mask until you learn the lesson you are suppose to learn.
When you are with someone love with your WHOLE heart and if you cannot love, find out WHY? Learn what it means to love. Be gentle, Be Kind and most importantly be TRUE.