The feeling I felt at the beginning of this year was something I find it hard to explain, like a newness had dawned upon us.
For someone who believes in a little bit of magic, the moon, the stars and the numbers, there was so much to look forward to.
2016 ( A 9 in numerology ) was all about endings. Letting go of what was no longer serving us, relationships, endings in business and so forth. It was a tough year because if we were not aware of the things we needed to release and we were in resistence the lessons came even harder, to force us to change and shift. As human beings we are here to evolutionise and grow. When we accept this, the pill gets easier to swallow.
This year being a number 1 in numerology ( 2017 – 2+0+1+7 = 10 : 1+0 = 1 ) I had a deep understanding that it meant, New beginings for everyone. No matter who you are, no matter where you are on your life path or where you live in the world. This year was going to be the beginning of a time of creation for everyone.
I was excited to say the least.
Now here is one of the many truths of life.
We can try as hard as can to study the mysteries of this worldand life but life has another plan, life is happening whilst we are making plans.
The year that I was so incredibly excited for, hit be smack bang in the chest , like a bat out of hell.
It has probably been one of the most challenging starts to a year I have ever had. However I really believe it is in the challenging times that we grow the most.
Someone once told me a fabulous story. Life is like the Super Mario brothers. There are levels within each and everyone of us and each day we are strolling, running, sprinting, dying and coming alive again and again. Racing against ourselves, pushing ourselves from level to level. When we have beat all the villians and find the treasure we are able to enter into the next level. The levels get harder and harder but we become stronger.
And so the game goes on….
2017 – It has not been the easiest start to this years level 1, however I have found some treasures in these lessons and when you change your perception that’s when the magic happens.
The Lessons Death, Dreaming & Love have taught me in 2017
Death is the most profoundly painful , beautiful thing. We lost a brother this year. He is deep. He is love. He is an angel. ( I say ‘is’ , because energy cannot be destroyed and I feel him with me always )
I didn’t know how challenging death was until it happened to someone close to me. It tore me open. Ripped me apart. And then there are those people who’s souls choose to lose not just one but many of their people,many of their tribe and not just friends they lose many of their family. Their journey is hard. My heart feels you as deeply as it can but no one but those individuals impacted by death so closely will ever truly understand the pain. I hope one day you can find freedom in your pain.
At times we believe that life is so unfair. How could this happen to me? Maybe it makes life easier to believe this but I truly believe that life will only ever give us what we can handle and everything that we are given is for the highest evolution of ourselves. Life is a duality and we cannot know love without hate. Peace without war. Sometimes we need to lose it all in order to understand how much we have. And death does this. It gets us to be so grateful that today we get to take another breath and watch another sunset. Let us treasure this.
But there is something so beautiful about death. Death unites. Death Forces. Death is quick. Death is apart of all of us.
In death, we are forced to really, truly deeply FEEL . And so many of us have forgotten how to feel. Death demands to be felt.
And so we FEEL and HEAL together. I went to the most enlightening memorial service, it was truly magical.
Something happened to me that day. I walked through the corridoors with my sunglasses on and wept deeply, tears rushing down my cheeks and mascara in my eyes. One by one, a perfect stranger, someone I had never met came up and embraced me, took me up in their arms and allowed me to crumble. I was held, in the arms of a stranger as I broke down, dropped all my masks and let this stranger and the world see my pain.
I felt so safe. So held. So connected. In the heart of a human being is only love. We wear hard armour and masks to hide our pain. But what we don’t realise is that we are hiding the biggest treasure and that treausre is our ability to love.
When death happens we allow ourselves to love, to TRULY love even if its just for one day or even a second at a magical memorial service, we choose to open our hearts and hold the girl we don’t know , as she exspresses apart of herself she didn’t know was there.
I found a treasure in death that day. And to our greatest friends, who have lost their soul mates. We will be with you to walk this path. When the social media posts stop going up and it begins to come a distant memory. We will never forget. May we continue to hold you. May we continue to connect with your pain and help you heal.
Thank you death for cracking us open and leaving us stripped naked so that we can learn to connect. Because at the core of all human beings, we crave only one thing.
And through this connection we find the real treasure.
We find the love.
Thank you death for teaching us LOVE.
We love you always Marty.
Be daring and silly enough to dream big.
My friends sometimes have a chuckle at me and my yearly vision boards mounted with prestik around my home. Months go by so quickly and often I forget to stop and look at what has transpired. There is something so powerful about knowing where you want to go in life. I believe that when we find our north staff, the universe and our higher self will conspire to make it happen. I have been creating vision boards for 4 years and looking back at these pieces of artwork, I am astounded to see that nearly everything has happened. It never happens the way you imagined it and so often its even better than what you expected. So if you don’t quite know what you want, spend some quiet time with yourself and ask.
So often we wish that extrodinary things would happen to us. I need to share with you that unless you are going to dare to dream and dream BIG and take extrodinary leaps, nothing out of this world is going to happen.
And remember that we are CREATORS, meaning that we cannot just sit back and wish our dreams away. We need to take ACTION. So if you wish to become a world reknown actor, you have to not only master that skill, but you need to be putting yourself out there and going to auditions.
I have watched each year as my dreams and visions to travel and see the world are slowly becoming a reality and the most magical thing about this is that I am going to do it, whilst doing what I love. Stop playing small. Be courageous enough to dream and get off your ass and GO DO IT!!!
And don’t listen to the naysayers. Those people who critiscise you and put you down, they are not going to help you get to where you want to be. Can you imagine if you spent your whole life not doing something ,because you were worried about what people were going to think ? I stopped writing blog posts for nearly a YEAR because someone critiscized my grammar and I didn’t even know them, I stopped sharing because someone made me feel bad. Actually they didn’t make me feel anything, that was all me . NOT THIS YEAR. I will not hold myself back because I’m not perfect. I will continue to keep trying. I will pick myself up a million more times and the only person I am aiming to please, is ME.
SHIFT that perception. Let go of that fear and the belief that you should care. On a worldly level we have a deep seated belief that we are unworthy and not good enough. Now this is our biggest downfall but also our biggest gift. Start to acknowledge your worth, your beauty and most importantly.
Now that’s a treasure right there.
Let love find you
We spend so much of our life looking for ‘the one’. In hope that we will find our other half and that we will live happily ever after. Sorry to ruin your perfect fairy tale but that ain’t going to happen.
After being single for 18 months I was getting itchy feet and thought maybe I was ready for a relationship. After putting my feelers out there I came to the realisation that now was just not the time.
I have spent quite a lot of time studying and understanding why we attract certain partners. And what I have learnt is that we are so afraid of being alone, we choose partners who are not well suited to us. Instead of creating deep, spiritual connections we create a relationship on the foundation of lust or ‘ want’. When instead we should be spending this time getting to know ourselves.
When we have not fully come into our own and there are many aspects of ourselves we have not yet mastered we attract partners who will mirror those aspects of ourselves to us. The relationship becomes more challenging because the lessons are harder.
If we had to spend the time we used looking for the a mate on getting to know ourselves deeply, when the time is right you will attract your equal. Someone who has also worked on themselves on a deeper lever and we will create a soul mate relationship that is based on love. One where we understand eachother deeply. One that is not motivated by our upbringing or conditioning. Take time to understand yourself. Why you are the way that you are. Look at your parent-child relationships as this will tell you a lot. I have spent my whole life putting men on a peddlestall, craving their love and attention because I did not have a father figure in my life for so many years.
I have never been happier to be alone. In my own company. Content. I also believe that we will meet ‘the one’ when we are suppose to. When the stars have aligned, I know that sounds all Romeo & Juliette but I do believe we are destined to be with certain individuals that our higher selves have chosen to learn the things we need to learn and master in the life.
So for now I am going to stop looking and instead I am going to spend this time on me.
We need to stop being so scared to be by ourselves. I can promise you that you are spectacular and you need to see if for yourself before anyone else can.
We cannot give out what we do not have inside of us. If you are bitter, you can only give bitterness. If you are angry, you will give anger.
We cannot give love if we do not have it within us. And we cannot love without learning to love ourselves first.
So, I ask you this.
Do you love yourself?
Go discover your treasure…..
It’s not even the end of month one in 2017 and I have learnt so many wonderful lessons.
Be open to learning. Be open to discovering and be open to playing the game.
Keep running Mario….