15 Beautiful Things I learnt in 2015
1- Stop Adding
For most of my life I have been on some sort of ‘diet’. From Paleo, to Carb Free, to starving myself and finally to Banting. Diets don’t work. You may look fabulous for 3 months from all the weight you have lost, enjoy all the compliments you get from people but those wont always be forever and when you do get FAT again your friends forget to mention it to you….It is not sustainable. It will mess with your mind when you look in the mirror, it will only make you feel UGLY. Eat food that comes from the earth ( Organic – without the bullshit – where possible ) and LOTS of it. Ensure you are getting your micronutrients ( Minerals & Vitamins ) you will feel incredible and wont be hungry all the time. EAT YOUR GREENS. Stop thinking you need to eat so much, listen to your body. Start including smoothies and juices into your life, they WILL change your life, body & mind. Did I mention they are the fastest way to prepare a meal? Eat REAL food. Stop eating crap ( That’s anything that comes in a can or a packet – PRESERVATIVES – THIS WORD IS B.A.D ) oh and fast food, this is the worst. This way of life will also make you healthy, I do not remember the last time I got sick or even took a Panado.
Your body is your temple, treat it like one.
2 – Best Friends Forever doesn’t always have to mean FOREVER
Think about the newest friend who has recently come into your life. The random place you met, the conversations that you had. Wasn’t it just wonderful? Reasons, Seasons and Lifetimes they say. Some people drift sweetly into your life to teach you something you didn’t know about yourself. Then there are those who are apart of your being. No matter what happens or what you go through there seems to be some magnetic field that keeps pulling you back together. These are the ones that no matter how many times you let them go, they are apart of you. We need to let one another go in order to grow. It’s always been difficult having to let people go and I have had many challenging friendships but the ones who are suppose to come back to you, ALWAYS do. And when they do, your friendship is stronger than ever and this becomes a LIFETIME friendship that is forever. We also outgrow others, that is okay. Thank them for their lessons, love them and let them go.
This past year I have reconnected with many of the friends I let go. We have more in common now than ever before and we see the world through similar perceptions, it is has been so wonderful to reconnect and share stories about the world and its wonders.
3 – We cannot change one another but we can have compassion
If only we could see through anothers eyes, to gain perspective on who we are and why we do the things we do. Life would be so wonderful but the beauty of life is that we cannot. For if we could life would be so simple and then what would be the point? Sometimes people do things we cannot understand or react in ways we cannot comprehend. We forget that we have seen the world through different eyes. Our stories are so individual and experiences are so unique . Our glasses in which we see the world have so many different lenses and colours. When the world around you gets complicated and you want to get angry, KNOW this, Know that you cannot change someone, they are who they are for a reason, they respond differently to us because we are not them. We need to have compassion for one another because we do not know what they have seen. Our lessons to be learnt are different. We are all unique. Let one another be and when we don’t ‘get’ one another, SMILE and have compassion because our worlds are different and we do not see through their eyes.
4- The world wants to help you, you just have to be willing to ask
This year I teamed up with a beautiful best friend of mine Romey Aspden to combine our passions and teach people the wonderful things we have learnt in this life time. Finally finding the courage to share our knowledge with the world and teach what we had learnt thats transformed our lives. We planned a Plant Based Food and Mindfulness day in the heart of Chartwell, we had been planned for months, blood, sweat and tears. We planned on having 20 people for the day. 3 days before the event we had 2 people booked. It wasn’t looking so good. Now Im not much of a crier but I remember standing in the gym lifting weights and my friend Jamie called to ask if we were ready? I will never forget that morning, I dropped the weights on the floor and burst into tears ( the tears didn’t make me look so ‘hardcore’ in the big boys weights section) I stated that it wasn’t looking so positive. I think I cried on the floor in the middle of the gym for 15 minutes. She suggested that I put it on Facebook… Are you mad Jamie? I have way to much pride. Me? Put something like that on Facebook? Then people will think I am a failure, I cant let that happen.?
We just needed 10 people to book in order to go through with the day and cover our costs, so I swallowed my pride and put it out there. Within 1 hour my status had been shared 54 times and by 4:30pm that day we had 19 people booked and paid for. We need to let our guards down and open ourselves up .This day changed my life and how I see the world. The world is a beautiful place, it contains people with big open hearts. The world and its people wants to us, we just have to be willing to let down our guards and ask.
The Day was a huge success…
Me doing my first consciousness and mindfulness talk
My beautiful business partner Romey Aspden and I…
I have dedicated the rest of my life to helping people connect with their truth, I am hear to teach…I now know my path.
Check Out the ” Becoming Me” album here: HAPPY LIFE - stay tuned to our Facebook page for events for 2016.
5- If we want to change our lives we need to change ourselves
Have you ever heard the saying – When your inner world comes into order, your outer world will follow. I never truly understood this saying until I started doing the deep inner work on myself. Looking at my conditioning, why I saw the world the way I did? What were my beliefs? Recognising limiting belief patters and why certain things weren’t always going my way. I then made the decision to heal myself ( And I believe that is what life is about, we are hear to grow, learn and heal ). Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world and everyone in your life movie is playing a role of character to confirm your inner beliefs. When I was angry inside the world around me was angry, I would notice it everywhere.
I would meet angry, confused people. Everyone that comes into our lives is a mirror reflection of where we are at in our lives. The minute I started becoming more peaceful on the inside, my outer world became peaceful, lets fights and arguments. More love. More happiness. Be aware of who you are. Know yourself. They call it AWARENESS. One of the most powerful tools you can learn in your life. First you have to know your world and see it for what it is in order to change it. If there is something within someone else that annoys you, something you don’t like about someone, you need to understand that we all own every part of one another within ourselves this makes us a complete human being. If there is something you do not like about someone it is because it is apart of yoruself that you have not yet owned. Once you own that part of yourself and integrate it into your being, they will no longer annoy you. That is why we need to work on ourselves, we do not need to change or fix anyone else, just ourselves. When you change the way you see the world, the world will change.
6 – People are less judgemental than you think
This year has been a year of deep inner realisation and growth for myself.
I remember as I grew up and met many wonderful, beautiful individuals ( I love people; they fascinate me ) I realised that someones I would meet a fascinating, ravishing woman who I would at times feel that I would maybe like to have a little smooch around the corner with. I came to the realisation that I see no difference between men and woman or their parts for that matter. I believe we fall for the person, we are connected to their being not because of what they are but WHO they are.
In order for me to better understand this part of myself I needed to label it. Its sad that in life we have to put labels on things but I think that words and labels help us better understand life. This was not an easy part of my journey and I even hurt some people by projecting ‘my stuff’ . So I ‘ CAME OUT’ that I was Bi-Sexual. It was such a freeing experience. At first I was a little nervous to tell my friends but what an exhilarating feeling. The people in my life welcomed this new side of myself and I became FREE to be me my authentic self. The world is not as mean and scary as we think. However I also believe that if I hadn’t fully accepted this side of myself this decision to ‘come out’ would have been a lot more challenging as when we do not fully accept ourselves, it is reflected by the people and situations around us. Be who you are. KNOW who you are.
LOVE WHO YOU ARE. YOU ARE PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.
When you accept who you are… the world will too…
7 – Have the courage to walk away
It takes a lot of courage to walk away from a relationship. You think about the times you have had together, the memories and most importantly how could you have that person in your life the one day and gone the next? When you feel something in your heart, trust that feeling. So often we hurt one another because of our own fears. We end up sabotaging relationships because we don’t have the courage to be true to ourselves. Relationships so often end badly because we aren’t willing to face our fears. In the long run if you allow it to get to this point things will get messy. We end up hurting one another, hating one another. We create horrible situations, self sabotaging moments because we aren’t man enough to stand up to what we really want. Trust and listen to your heart, connect to your inner courage and find the strength to walk away….Before someone gets hurt.
Relationships are our biggest vehicles for transformation as a partner is your perfect MIRROR IMAGE of everything you need to learn about yourself. Get in that car, drive it but know when to push the breaks. And don’t be afraid to be alone, we spend years in unhappy relationships because we are afraid.
There is a whole world out there with fascinating people, I dare you….Go meet one of them…
8 – Our bodies are perfect just the way they are. They are exactly how they were made to be
Short. Stocky Thighs. Muscular. Calves that look like they could donate blood. Bulky arms. A big booty. Little ‘ pooch’ on my tummy that never goes away. Yes this is my body and I have finally accepted it. It has taken me 27 years but I have finally done it. We spend our lives being influenced by mass media on how we “THINK” we should look. I remember dreaming of being a Sports Illustrated Swimwear Model when I was little. Hahah I look back at myself and laugh, we create this perceptions of who we THINK we want to be, when in actual fact…We don’t look at the FACTS, my days of being a swimwear model were near and close to absolutely none. In sacred Chinese Geometry they saw we are all given the exact face and body we need, in order to learn what we need to learn in this life. I cannot eat delicious breads and pastas because I blow up like a house, my body has been a big learning journey for me, I have learnt about food, nutrition and health through these bodily lessons. I have learnt so much through everything I tried to be that I was not. And now… I love my muscles, I am strong, I can flip tyres and weights. My legs and DAK and I Love them, they are powerful, I can swim, sprint and cycle on these little, big legs. I accepted that I was born strong for a reason and I am going to use that to my advantage.
Your body is your body for a reason. Accept your body and embrace it. It is through this thing that you carry yourself through life that you will learn most about yourself. It is all yours. No one else has one like it. No one else can have it, no one else can replicate it. Wear dresses that show off your curves and pants that flaunt your derrière.
9 – Be conscious what about what we put into our bodies.
Imagine what it must have felt like to have to pick up your spear and go and hunt for your own food? Spending hours treking through the bush after your evening supper. Now days all we need to do is hunt that animal with our plastic credit cards. As human beings it is so easy to turn a blind eye, if we don’t have to know how it got to our plates why should we care? The world has changed so much, just for one second think about how many people in the world and how many animals it takes to feed us? Now I am not saying all become vegetarian because the world is in trouble but the world IS in trouble and we do need to become more conscious about our consumption.
That is all I am asking. Ask questions about where you meat comes from? Where your eggs come from? How did that chicken breast get so big? How are the animals treated? Humanely? Remember what they eat, WE EAT. What is being put into their bodies, is going into ours. It is about becoming a conscious consumer because you care about your body, our animals and our environment. Because why? Because we should care. Have you ever thought about our future generations? The fact that they will most probably never eat a real fish out of the sea? To me that is petrifying and it is up to people like you and me who need to care. You don’t have to stop eating meat but eat less meat. Learn to cook with plant based foods, you can replicate every meat meal and I can guarantee you some of them taste a lot more delicious. In South Africa we have been brought up to believe that every meal needs meat. This is a fallacy. We need to start caring, if we don’t, who will. Changing the world starts in your own home, be an example to our children.
10 – Believe in the magic
Life is magical, magical things happen but only to those who believe in the magic. So many of us spend our life being the victim. Why is this happening to me? Things always go wrong. They are wrong because you BELIEVE them to be wrong. Like Buddha says “ Life is suffering” when you accept this you will become at peace with life. This to me is such a wonderful truth because life is not easy. Everything that has happened or is going to be happen needs to happen for the highest evolution of your soul, we need the lessons, that’s what we are here for, to learn. Choose to see the lesson. Everything is perfect just the way it is. The only constant thing in life is Change, we need to grow and move with the change because we are forever changing and growing, everyday is a new you.
Learn to BREATHE. It is your LIFE FORCE. “ When you have control over your breath, you have control over your life as it is the only thing you can control”.
When you believe in the magic of the universe and the world magical things start to happen. You begin to attract the magic into your life, the wonderful people, the whimsical adventures , the synchronistic moments that show you that your dreams are starting to come true.
But you have to DREAM and you have to BELIEVE or there is no magic and you wil never see it.
My 2016 hopes for you
Acknowledge and be truthful about who and where you are in your life, if you do not know yourself you will not be able to recreate yourself and the life that you want. Be present and learn the art of presence. Take off your masks and be Authentic, we will begin to create an authentic world where we can be ourselves, instead of the image we believe ourselves to be. Because this image is not always true. Cry and show emotion, when you shine your light and take off your mask you give others the permission to do so as well. Love more even when it hurts. DARE to dream of the world you want, it’s the dreamers who live magical lives because they dare to dream and dare to LIVE.
We do not need to change the world. All we need to do is change ourselves. Work on yourself everyday of your life. Know who you are. When you do the inner work 20 people around you are awakened because your light shines so brightly.
SHINE BEAUTIFUL HUMAN; SHINE.